I woke up today. I woke up today feeling hopeless and mostly useless. I became so overwhelmed by the sensation this created in my body that I wanted to scream. The pain and sadness was so great, so deeply rooted that it searched for help like a tree root searching for water on desert soil. It knows it's there but somehow it has lost its way to the source. I felt the cry of the earth and all its inhabitants and my part in its destruction was ever so dominant in this moment. I have always strived for an awakened existence, but, I like so so many, are caught in this useless web of consumerism, frivolous occupations and preoccupations and illusions of grandeur and such, that our destructive and conquering ways are bleeding the planet. Even though we may feel that we are on the right path, our over spending, over buying, over using, are all leaving a strong footprint.
I want to say it's not intentional, so that I can get myself to breathe a little bit better. But that would be cheating myself. I have to get the air cut from my lungs in order to feel its worth. Only when we are close to dying can we appreciate the enormity of what are actions have done. It's similar to when one is on the brink of death and can see their whole life flashing before their eyes. They beg for forgiveness, and one last chance to make it better because in that moment they can see their faults and how they've arrived to where they are. But, for some, it can already be too late as they are taken away to make room for the new. Today, I welcomed the death of my tired state so that a new breath of fresh air could bring clarity where I have failed.
And so I question. How am I living my life? What am I doing with the money I make? Where is it going and how is it used? Am I living in alignment with the natural world? How have I strayed and how can I find myself back?
I am asking these questions and many more. They are not new questions to me, but somehow I am hearing them again. At least I think I am, but this could be another illusion of self importance. Because this is a blind spot that feeds our biggest atrocities and allows us to stay in our comfort zone. But you see, a new type of Royalty is visiting our planet right now and she is called Corona, and she has come to move us out of that comfort zone in order to build a new path. She is here to realign and to reconfigure that figure that we have worked so hard to maintain. She will have it no more. She is greater than anything we have experienced and she is here to remind us again that the earth is crying out for us in a language that we have forgotten. And even if you are one of those that believe it is a conspiracy, or an economical war, it doesn't really matter because it is contagious and it has infected us all in some way. Some are suffering while others have been given the opportunity of a new life.
Forgive me your Royal Highness. I bow down to you. I honor your presence without minimizing the suffering that you have caused. I hope you have come in time and that it is not too late to bring back the cries of the wild, the flowing streams, the bright starry skies, the blooming meadows, and tall trees, so that a new litter can be born to flourish, and roam the lands, and to speak that ONE language that we have forgotten. And so, I have hope, that we can once again learn to honor the greatest member of our collective family. Our greatest Mother, Grandmother and Elder, our Pacha Mama, Sacred Planet of all beings, Mother Earth. Forgive me, I love you, I am sorry for not being as wise as you need me to be. Help me to see your needs and take action more effectively.