Have you kicked your partner out of your bed yet, or are you sleeping separately while still together? If you are a woman that has held on to an ongoing relationship for over a decade or two, then chances are that you have probably thought about it on more than on one occasion. Even when love exists, sleeping in the same bed over time can be challenging, unless there is a strong base or spiritual connection from the get-go. As the years progress, little issues can become big issues and the mountain of neglect becomes too high to climb.
When I met my partner 20 years ago, I told him that if we ever lived in a big enough house, I would want my own bedroom. All the women in my matriarchal line had eventually found themselves sleeping alone whether by choice or not. My Grandfather "had been moved" to the single day bed while my Grandmother kept the comfy double bed all to herself. I remember thinking he looked like an exile, punished for his actions. I never heard him complain and in those times married couples rolled with the punches and held on to the end no matter what. My Mother also moved out of the double bedroom, because my father read or snored during random hours throughout the day or night and kept an irregular schedule that was different than hers.
Lets's speak openly here, most women I come in contact with have entered into relationships with partners very different from themselves. And If you think about your own relationship for a moment, I am sure you can relate to the differences between you. And while opposites attract, it can also be the source of trouble between couples if the male and female energies are not balanced or nurtured from the root. I am not referring to "man" and "woman" or the sociological roles that this may imply, but the subtle masculine and feminine energies that play and dance within us all. Even gay relationships have a masculine or feminine dynamic which has nothing to do with gender. Balancing these subtle energies on the biological, sociological, spiritual and physiological level requires work so that each couple can experience an overall wholistic existence that will bear fruits into later years. Keeping up a smile and a healthy attitude with yourself is hard enough, let alone with others.
When we deal with our personal issues in an honest way, then we can also face our reflections head on. Eventually, all our partnerships will thrive from this, including our extended family, friends, community and beyond, and hence, this will lead to a deeper understanding on how to navigate trough the storms.
Now, there will always be exceptions, such as violence, addictions, incompatible sexual relations, and the like that may signal an exit to the specific relationship, but, if you still share a bed, a house or a treehouse, then you have understood that sometimes you will need to feed the fire, and other times be the one who pours the water. One can not live without the other and they are both there to nurture each other together and individually.